Bloggleheads

This offseason report was carefully written in the snow on my front lawn during a night of excess.
DEALS:
RHP PENNY to the CARDINALS
Looks like the Cards are going for it all in 2010. Assuming they sign Holliday, they’ll have a pretty formidable team next season – lots of stars in contract years. If they don’t pull it off next season, it could be a while until they get there again.
LHP WAGNER to the BRAVES
Hopefully Wagner can regain form in AAAA.
RHP PAVANO ACCEPTS ARBITRATION
Suck it Minnesota – that’s what you get.
RHP BETANCOURT ACCEPTS ARBITRATION
Betancourt played well for Colorado after leaving what, in retrospect, was a collapsing Cleveland team. I expect he’ll regress a little bit, but still be someone Jim Tracy can trust giving the ball to in the 8th.
RHP SORIANO ACCEPTS ARBITRATION
Braves fans just got wicked lucky. I thought for sure the Yanks or BoSox would at least kick the tires on the jaded closer, especially after the Braves gave his job away to the injury-plagued Wagner …
C I. RODRIGUEZ to the NATIONALS
Pudge? Really? Ok … ?
RHP BRUNEY to the NATIONALS
… ha … haha …hahahahaha … wait … for real? Oh. Well … yeesh.
The Nationals must not really want to contend: a way past-his-prime overpriced catcher and a reliever who can’t find the strike zone.
I … don’t even have anything witty to say … I mean, if anything:
Toronto fans cheer up! At last: a less relevant franchise than your own! Woo-hoo! The Blue Jays aren’t as irrelevant as the Nationals!
IF EVERETT to the TIGERS
Meh. Everett trades benches. The world keeps on spinnin’. At least he was cheap, right?
RUMORS:
TIGERS TRADING GRANDERSON?
Word around the campfire is that the Tigers are looking to move their quick centerfielder (who can’t hit lefties worth a damn). I’d still see him as a decent pick-up, provided no prospects with a pulse are traded.
That said, Alden Gonzalez and Rhett Bollinger of MLB.com report:
“The Yankees, D-backs and Tigers reportedly talked about a blockbuster trade that would send Detroit outfielder Curtis Granderson to New York and right-hander Edwin Jackson to Arizona, FOXSports.com reported on Monday night. But a source told the site that the talks are currently at an “impasse.” The proposed deal would have Granderson and one or two D-backs prospects going to the Yankees, and Jackson and Yankees right-hander Ian Kennedy going to the D-backs. The Tigers would receive right-hander Max Scherzer from the D-backs, and center fielder Austin Jackson and left-handed relievers Phil Coke and Michael Dunn from the Yankees.”
My rebuttle: AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL
I like Granderson – but not in return for Kennedy, Coke and Austin Jackson (btw – isn’t Jackson being touted as the next Bernie Williams? And aren’t we missing a left fielder – WTF?!).
PETTITTE COMING BACK IN 2010?
Of course. And He’s already turned down a NYY offer for 1yr/$10M. This better not turn into another Clemens “will he pitch or won’t he pitch” things.
MAINE for HART?
Who cares? Mets RHP Maine is a #5 starter on a bad AL team and Brewers RF Hart is just OK and on the bad side of his career. Let them make the trade, neither team would benefit significantly.
MATSUI TO LAA?
That’s right, L.A., the prudent thing to do is replace your old, weak-kneed DH with another guy with bad knees on the wrong side of 35.
BAY TO LAA?
Man, the Angels just won’t go away. Let LA and Boston get into a bidding war over Bay. Yankees fans silently rejoice.
COCO CRISP HOT COMMODITY?
Is that a surprise to anyone? No. The surprise would be if he was finally able to live up to the hype.
FIGGINS TO MARINERS?
The Mariners look like they’re going to give the Angels a run for their money this season. They already have the best defensive outfield in baseball. Adding Figgins, a versatile infielder with a good OBP who can steal bags, and having him bat in front of or behind Ichiro will at least give pitchers pause.
HALLADAY to RAYS?
This comes from FoxNews, so who knows if there’s any basis in fact for this one. This rumor actually makes sense to me. The Rays have A LOT of Minor League talent and can probably accommodate Halladay’s contract if the Tampa Bay front office agrees to open up the fanny-pack and flash some cash. Toronto would get its abundance of talent (which again: will not amount to much) and the Rays would have a big name star who can also mentor their promising young core.
As the winter cools down the Hot Stove heats up. Or at least that’s what they tell me.

… but what do I know, I’m just an asshole wearing clown makeup.